David and Goliath Sketch
A comic version of the David and Goliath story.
Extract from the script:
Two armies march on from different sides. 4 Israelites (one of them is Saul) and 3 Philistines. (one of them is Goliath).
Big bad Goliath then roars at the audience.
Philistines chant – ‘Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!’
Israelites all pretend to be tough and make grand claims:
Israelite 1 Easy! We can beat you with one hand.
All Yeah! (All put one hand behind back)
Israelite 2 We can beat you on one leg.
All Yeah! (All hop on one leg)
Israelite 3 We can beat you with one head.
All Yeah! What?
Israelite 3 shrugs.
Saul (walking on) Right! Who will go for us?
Israelites give loads of excuses:
Israelites Ah! Er… Is that the time? I’ve gotta collect the kids. I think I’m getting a headache. Oh it’s time for Countdown on telly. I’ve got tummy ache. I’m a bit tired. (etc)
Saul What are we going to do? We need someone brave.
Israelite 1 We need someone gullible.
David comes on carrying a box.
David Hello. What’s the problem?
Israelite 2 Just the man.
David I’ve brought you some lunch. (he offers the box)
Goliath roars at him and laughs.
David How dare you defy God’s army? If I was three times the size I’d take you on. In fact – no – I’ll take you on anyway.
Goliath (seeing David) YOU?! No chance – you’ve lost the plot. Go home!...
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Proper 7, Ordinary/Lectionary 12 (Year B)
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