A comic version of the David and Goliath story.

Extract from the script:

Two armies march on from different sides. 4 Israelites (one of them is Saul) and 3 Philistines. (one of them is Goliath).

Big bad Goliath then roars at the audience.

Philistines chant – ‘Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!’

Israelites all pretend to be tough and make grand claims:

Israelite 1    Easy! We can beat you with one hand. 

All    Yeah! (All put one hand behind back)

Israelite 2    We can beat you on one leg. 

All    Yeah! (All hop on one leg)

Israelite 3    We can beat you with one head.

All    Yeah! What?

Israelite 3 shrugs.

Saul    (walking on) Right! Who will go for us?

Israelites give loads of excuses:

Israelites    Ah! Er… Is that the time? I’ve gotta collect the kids. I think I’m getting a headache. Oh it’s time for Countdown on telly. I’ve got tummy ache. I’m a bit tired. (etc)

Saul    What are we going to do? We need someone brave.

Israelite 1    We need someone gullible.

David comes on carrying a box.

David    Hello. What’s the problem?

Israelite 2    Just the man.

David    I’ve brought you some lunch. (he offers the box)

Goliath roars at him and laughs.

David    How dare you defy God’s army? If I was three times the size I’d take you on. In fact – no – I’ll take you on anyway. 

Goliath        (seeing David) YOU?! No chance – you’ve lost the plot. Go home!...

For the full script sign in or sign up and download from above/right.