This is a funny but thought-provoking take on the Nativity story, reimagined as an episode of the Jeremy (or Josiah) Kyle show.


Extract from the script:

Josiah Kyle walks on, suited, suave and confidently brash.

JOS. Today on the Josiah Kyle show we have a young couple in dire straits. Young Joe is worried, let me tell you. He's been hearing rumours round the town. Rumours about his fiancé Mary. Let's bring them on and see if there's any truth in the gossip. Ladies and gentleman, a big hand for Mary and Joe. [Applause as they enter and take a seat]

JOS. Now, Mary, you claim that you have never kissed another man?

MAR. That's right.

JOS. And you've never been intimate with another man?

MAR. That's right.

JOS. In fact, you claim you've never kissed any man. At all. Ever. Not even Joe here.

MAR. That's right.

JOS. Hmm. [Thinks] And yet you Mary... and correct me if I'm wrong here... you say you've never even kissed a man and yet Mary - you're pregnant!

[Gasps from the audience]

JOS. That's right ladies and gents. This woman, who claims to be as pure as the driven snow, is with child!

MAR. How d'you know? Who told you?

JOS. Your cousin told us, she was only too happy to talk about your... situation. She's excited about it. Well, she's pregnant herself. We had her on the show last week, after her husband was so shocked about their pregnancy that he was struck dumb. She wasn't though. She was very chatty, and your name came up. So, do you still stand by your story?

MAR. Yes. Absolutely.

JOS. Even though the newspapers claim different?...

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